pah!

i would just like to say about something very specific, what a load of MY ARSE! Get a fucking life.

3 Things...

3 names you go by: My Real Name, Marky Jay (from a garlands advert, my mates think this ones mint), Ms. Blatch (to my housemate only)
3 things you like about yourself: im very friendly and put people at their ease, calm in crazy situations, and crazy in calm ones
3 things you dislike about yourself: I’m judgemental, I can be defensive, I’m all about instant gratification
3 parts of your heritage: Scottish, English… West Country
3 things you're wearing right now: smart jeans (for work), grey t shirt (for bf, he like), Giorgio Armani’s Acqua Di Gio
3 Things you want in a relationship: freedom, sex, laughs
3 things about the opposite sex that appeal to you: I like dressing them? They talk about more interesting things than boys do and they’re more affectionate
3 Favourite hobbies: bopping, shopping, and bed hopping
3 things you want to do badly right now: spill the gossip I’m not allowed to spill, sunbathe, drink mojitos
3 careers you have considered or are considering: baker, quaker, candlestick maker
3 girls names you like: Sarah Jessica (ok, but hear me out, if I ever have kids this name will be so retro!), Tilly, Robyn
3 Boys names you like: Jack, Alexander, Dylan
3 things you want to do before you die: swim with dolphins (obviously), travel the globe, sexual encounters with Orlando Bloom
3 things that scare you: the dark, confined spaces, bad dreams
3 places you want to go on vacation: new york, morocco, back to the Med.
3 celebrity crushes: Matt Damon, George Clooney (a classic), Jude Law
3 things you cant do: I can never finish anyth-

Chuck out that chintz

Somebody help me I'm stuck at my man's parents house AKA The Land that Taste Forgot (how did these people rear a gay man?) There are doilies and chintz everywhere you look. The only comfort is I should have been in work today but I threw a(nother) sickie. They aren't bad really, they introduce me as their son's boyfriend in this kind of defiant way that makes me laugh. Im mostly blogging right now to holler to my hard working gorgeous little minx Chica, love, I feel a trip to IKEA coming on! I'd better get back to the Von Trapp's. We're having a Sound of Music themed weekend. But with less nuns and more same sex action.

A post just for Chica

Hello my duck! I know, im totally shit at posting, i always get distracted by the plethora of time wasting websites I keep finding. I know you will like my use of plethora there! we dont have any foot fetish pervs at our office, not any that are out of the closet anyway. i might have to come to your work in flip flops to see if my feet rate on the pervometer or not, but then i might be crushed if he doesnt even notice. imagine! my poor little ego just couldnt take that sort of rejection. i think you should blog about that bloke with the 70s hairdo later -- look, your getting requests! have i entertained you enough now or shall i do the dance? remember i ripped your pyjama bottoms off? fun times!

A chavs work is never done

As you can see, a very busy day at work today. I love Fridays!

My "Fab New Chavtastic Name Is" is Maxwell Minger.
Take The Chav Name Generator today!
Created with Rum and Monkey's Name Generator Generator.

scrawl

people, its been so long I forgot my effing password. what of life? well, a night out with cheeky chica has firmly convinced me I need to stop drinking so much. she'll hate that, shes all 'make your own choices' but damn i was embarrasing! i think i insulted a cute barman. so not my style! i was probably trying to flirt very ineffectually. shit happens. she also went to edinburgh, and i stayed home knitting. damn you guillermo! damn you! (i probably dont know you well enough to say that, but i'll blame the stress of my job if you ask).

im here at work, bored shitless. i wish i had an ambition that didnt involve bedding the cast of will and grace. its beyond camp for me to like that show isnt it? but i just wanted to record my reflection that my man is looking fiiiiiine these days. have i mentioned that? maybe thats why im insulting cute barmen instead of trying to lick their willies. can i say that? i just did. peace, out!

Hey Floyd

Tragically, I'm not even interested enough in myself to finish that countdown thingy. I like reading them on other peoples though. What does that say about me? It was a lovely weekend in Liverpool and today its raining. I was merciless with my Pink Floyd though. Dont be disgusting, who do you think I am Julian Clary? Pur-lease. I played them in the garden all weekend. My housemate is now starting to sing them as she wanders about the kitchen. I love Dark Side Of The Moon because it reminds me of an ex that I was crazy about. He was fucking good in bed. A bit of an amusing couple of sentences, but true. Yes people Im at work thinking about horny exes. I normally save this for mondays but the bank holiday's thrown me.

Me me me

Ten random things about me:
10 - I am 7 months into the longest relationship I have ever had.
9 - I am terrified of commitment.
8 - My favourite word is blatant.
7 - I hate getting my picture taken.
6 - My friend has saved my life twice. If I hadn’t met her, I would be dead.
5 - I have a big scar on my shoulder.
4 - When I was younger, I had a big crush on a girl. DISCLAIMER: I am a gay man.
3 - Sometimes when my boyfriend talks, I involuntarily block out his voice.
2 - When I get drunk I think I can rap.
1 - I am really good at sports.

Nine ways to win my heart:
9 - I tend to go for bastards to be honest, but I’ll give this a shot!
8 - Know how to have a good time.
7 - Like your independence.
6 - Introduce me to new things.
5 - Watch TV with me and don’t complain about the naff programmes I like.
4 - Be nice to my friends.
3 - Be patient.
2 - Never use the phrase where is this going?
1 - One word. Massage.

Eight things I carry/wear every day:
8 - A subtle cologne, it should whisper not shout!
7 - A brown leather wallet.
6 - Mobile phone.
5 - Condoms. Who knows when I might pop to the gym?
4 - NUS card from back in the day.
3 - Keys. And a bit of a girly keyring.
2 - A watch that I never look at.
1 - Rosary beads.

And on the first day, he made a blog

Blogs. Whats the point? Mainly, I can write it at work while looking busy and efficient, or at least like I'm tapping mindlessly at the keyboard as expected. And because I'm keeping up with the Jones's. Since I have no clue as to what to write yet, I'm thieving concepts from Chica, who I believe gets all her stuff from David any road. More to follow.