Panorama (where kitchen dreams come true)

I'm self-obsessed, let's talk about me! (For the entirety of this session, I shall be imagining Chica sitting across from me in a leather chair, wearing spectacles, a knee length pencil skirt, and stiletos, perhaps casually swivelling in her chair and smiling coyly each time I amuse her)

(Now I might be imagining Daniel Craig doing the same thing)

1. Best night out you ever had (and remembered)?

best night out has to be my twenty third birthday in GARLANDS. I had my beautiful ladies dressed up as moulin rouge girls, and my boys ... dressed up as ugly moulin rouge girls. Sadly no photographs survive.

we all looked like sluts. and I think some of us might have acted like sluts, eg CALICO, who wore a leopard print dress, purple shoes, and a barman from the old monk (back when it was the old monk!!).

2. How did you meet your bestest friend in the whole wide world? ;)

I fell off the monkey bars, and you picked me up. Or did you fall off the monkey bars and I picked you up? So long ago... nearly two weeks now, Eh.

Monkey bars are the best bars to pick girls up in, i believe. boom boom.

3. What do you love most about Spanky?

You soppy cow. Right. I love how hes a prescence in a room even though he is so laid back and chilled, and he doesnt feel the need to fill silence. He is shy but also assertive. His mind is full of millions of wonderous things. I like that he only wants to share them with me.

BLUB!

4. Why L.Lo?

L.lo is a goddess - I love everything about her. She is cute even when she is hideous. Mean Girls established her as my favourite diva and her antics ever since, some may argue her decline, have served to keep her there. As long as she doesnt completely morph into paris hilton, i will call myself a l.lo supporter for life!

5. Do you have “lucky pants”?

No but I do have a range of pants, a style if you will, that I wear if I want to pull. So I suppose I do have lucky pants, but not one minging pair I am wearing to the death.

I have a lucky shirt - t shirt - jeans combo that works every time.

And you have that cheerleader outfit... oh no wait thats Rachel off friends.

My blog network consists of you love, but I'll do this bit anyway out of the goodness of my heart (I would quite like to interview you in return though, I ve got three quezzies already):

- Leave me a comment including your email address saying, “Interview me!”
- I will respond by emailing you five questions. I get to pick them, and you have to answer them all.
- You will update your blog with the answers to the questions.
- You will include this explanation and an offer to interview someone else in the same post.
- When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions.

Thriller

Ta Chica, you saucy minx! Here's mine.

Read my VisualDNA™ Get your own VisualDNA™

mid life at the oasis

Attention all Users: SING-AAAAAALLLLLLL, that's what I want to be.

profound words of our time, from the prettier half of the bedingfields.

i'm 25 soon. less than a week. clock is ticking. feeling the need to go out and shag everything.

hahaha, my labels work.

got to be real

oh the irony of life, sometimes it really does just grab you by the bollocks and twist them hard.

thought i'd grab your attention with my first post of 2007.

relationships are strange unfathomable things. why do we gravitate towards some people immediately and with others you fight a losing battle? what is the point of unrequited love and friendship - what makes us like somebody that clearly isnt going to reciprocate? im not talking just in romance, im talking failed friendships and family. why is it that the one relationship you would give anything to make work is always going to be impossible? is it the impossibility that makes us want it even more?

i speak of my ... well, all of my family really. i crave them and hate them in equal measures, all for different reasons. i have the worlds best surrogate family but there will always be a part of me that just wants to be loved by the people who are supposed to love you the most. and thats why lost love always gets to me. and being the sort of person that runs from romantic love myself, well thats a bit of a bastard.

but what else was i going to talk about. oh yes, idiots that profess to be your friends and then they meet somebody else and suddenly you dont matter. that pisses me off and its why i dislike many people, friendship is for life, not just for when your bed is empty. even if your in a bona fide relationship, you shouldnt forget the ones who have been there for you in the past. i hope i never do.

rant over.

Book Whore

What would I do without this girl?

1. Grab the book closest to you.
2. Open to page 123, go down to the fifth sentence.
3. Post the text of the next 3 sentences on your blog.
4. Name the book and the author.
5. Tag three people.

'The lad - he was sixteen years old - went to bed drearily. He was cut off and wretched through October, November, and December. His mother tried, but she could not rouse herself.'

- Sons and Lovers, D.H. Lawrence

TAG: You're it!

Get it while it's hot

MJ says: Will you pick me that shirt up if you go to town again?

Chica says: Yes, do you want it off me for Christmas? I am going later today if I do 500 more words.

MJ says: Make it 250 and I’ll convince Alfie to buy you that dress.

Chica says: Your powers of persuasion aren’t that strong. Paul McKenna could not get Alfie to spend ten pence on a text message, never mind £130 on a dress. Besides. I cannot be bought. *cough*

MJ says: Perhaps he was offended when he tried to touch you and you said "Hun, it’s not working for me, give up. I’ll show you how to do it properly another time." ?

MJ says: I’ll bet you’re glad you said that now.

Chica says: He seemed happy enough at the time.

MJ says: All too happy from the sounds.

Chica says: :(

MJ says: YOU’RE A SEXY MAMA!

MJ says: I seriously think he is embarrassed. That’s pretty embarrassing for a guy. You know – it doesn’t bode well.

Chica says: Well, I think it’s happened before. He keeps tissues by his bed ;)

MJ says: LOL.

Chica says: Classy bastard.

MJ says: Looking back, it doesn’t sound like he’s much good?

Chica says: I made up for it ;) I was on fire!!!!

MJ says: Obviously!!!!!! Did you evaluate the package at all?

Chica says: After Boyf, this would only lead to disappointment. Why bother?

MJ says: Liar! You must’ve done SOMETHING. Otherwise, that thar boy has a serious problem.

Chica says: I might have brushed it with my hand by accident. And you know, he was grinding up against me on the bed.

MJ says: And?

Chica says: Well, from what I could tell…

MJ says: I’m all ears.

Chica says: Well, he’s half the man Boyf is. Literally.

MJ says: Fucking hell babe. Love the one you’re with!

Chica says: Would it be really bitchy to post this? :P

MJ says: Only if you post his picture too.

Chica says: To be fair though. How could he compete?

MJ says: How was the shape? Girth??

Chica says: WEIRD! Not him particularly, but I’ve only ever felt one. Didn’t know they could be so different! It was kind of… bendy.

MJ says: I am pissing myself here. Are we talking U-bends here?

Chica says: Dude, we’re talking I wouldn’t have to bend! I meant half the man as to girth aswell.

MJ says: Are you sure it wasn’t just constricted in his jeans or something?

Chica says: Um, no. I whipped them off him remember??? Do keep up!

MJ says: This is nicht git. Really. 7 years and all that crap aside. You’d downgrade to half the cock? Really????

Chica says: It’s not that he’s small, he’s just not big.

MJ says: You realise this makes you practically a saint in my eyes.

Chica says: I so can’t post this now.

MJ says: If you don’t, I will!

Chica says: Oh no she didn’t!!!

MJ says: I’ve got to get material from somewhere, it’s about time Alfie spilled over onto my blog too.

MJ says: If you’ll pardon the expression.

I'm Coming Out

Well we all know I am shit at blogging but I just wanted you all (hello single friend that reads this) to notice that I have switched to beta, not because I have any idea about what it means but because blogger kept urging me to and I found it hard to comment on Chica's blog with my old styleee blogger account.

So wooooo get me.

I would also like you to NOTICE that Chica is finally turning into me. The day she has sex at the gym will be a proud day for me indeed.

What gym DOES 'Alfie' go to?

Must go now and send very ill conceived messages out via Blackberry, All the starlets are doing so these days and I wouldn't want to be left behind. If only I had a Vayjayjay to flaunt I'd be in the pages of Heat by now.

Wasted.

Love always, marky jayjay.